What have I become
by GemmaXoxo
Summary: Emma is left in a drunken state of confusion with blood on her hands. She can not remember the previous events but all the evidence will lead back to her. Trigger warnings: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Rape, Domestic violence, Crime.


A/N: I am sorry to my fans that the writing has been a lot slower. I have been focusing my time on other things so far which meant the writing took a back seat. This is the first story I have started writing for 3 years now. I appreciate any feedback and I hope you enjoy reading this one. It will be a multi chapter fic. Thank you for your patience.

Emma's car trundled down the road, the feeling of dread and fear consumed her. Everyone thought her life with Regina was perfect but if only they knew the truth. Emma made it easy to hide what she didn't want people to see. It almost became second nature and deceit became a way of life in order to survive.

The journey from the grocery store in Oklahoma wasn't far from where Emma resided with Regina. It was a quiet town where people kept their business secret but there was always one nosey neighbour that liked to know of the goings on in the town.

After focusing her mind on other things Emma brought the car to a stop and took in a few deep breaths in order to calm her nerves. Regina had a short temper and even the smallest thing could set her off. Emma knew she had to tread carefully in order to avoid aggravating her.

Emma forced herself out of the car and begrudgingly made her way up the drive. She knew instantly that Regina was waiting for her arrival. The curtains were parted slightly, only enough so Regina could have an outlook onto the driveway to see where the car would be parked.

Emma slowly turned the key and could hear footsteps pacing up and down the hardwood floor before she even opened the door. She entered on the side of caution and prayed that Regina would be in a hospitable mood.

As the door closed behind her Regina emerged from the kitchen with a rather disgruntled look on her face. Emma swallowed hard and made her way towards Regina.

"Do you not believe in time keeping?" Regina asked in a hostile tone.

Emma's eyes darted to the floor as she refused to give eye contact.

"That wasn't a rhetorical question, I expect you to answer when I am speaking to you."

"My manager asked me to stay a little later as I needed to cover while a colleague was called away for an emergency."

Regina's eyes narrowed and her glare became more intense. "I expect you to be here when I tell you to be here, not when you decide to waltz in. I had dinner prepared for us. Now it has been ruined due to your inability to say no to people."

"I am sorry; it will not happen again"

Regina grabbed Emma's arm and forcibly moved her closer. She gripped tightly and leaned into her. "If you think you are going to get away with this then you are very wrong. You might let people walk all over you at work but at home I am the boss of you. It will do you good to remember that." Regina snarled and released her grip.

Emma could feel the lump in her throat and the overwhelming feeling of self doubt growing inside of her. As much as she wanted to leave Regina she was all she had. Her family disowned her and she had no one else to turn to. It was this life or nothing.

Emma turned to walk away and go somewhere else to allow Regina to calm down. She felt a hand squeezing her shoulder and she was forced to face Regina. She had a look in her eyes that Emma had never seen before. It was colder and more callous than usual.

Emma fell backwards as she felt a fist force into her face. It took her off guard and knocked her to the ground. The burning sensation filled her face and she could feel something warm trickling down her cheek.

"Now get out of my sight." Regina screamed

Emma laid on the hardwood floor for a moment trying to find the strength to get back up again. It was the first time Regina had been physically violent towards her.

Emma inhaled deeply and realised she had to find the power to stand up. She needed to get out of the house for the night. If Regina had seen her still there, who knows what she would have done.

Emma stopped at a shabby looking bar she had never seen before. The sign was hanging off the front and there was something unappealing about it. She had no choice as she needed some kind of refuge, a place where people wouldn't ask too many questions and would just serve her a drink.

There were people outside arguing and throwing their weight around and there were a few odd men giving her the once over but she didn't care. She pushed her way through the narrow entrance and made her way to the bar.

The bartender looked at Emma with a look of disbelief. Her lip was bloody and swollen and her eye was a dark shade of purple.

Emma looked towards the ground to try and avoid contact with the man that could sense something was wrong.

"What happened to you love? Are you alright? Do you need me to call someone for you?"

"I don't need your concern or your pity just pour me a god damn drink. Make it something strong" Emma hissed.

The bartender grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the top shelf and poured a large glass.

Emma snatched the glass from his hand and inhaled the amber coloured liquid. She winced as the sharp acrid taste filled her mouth.

"You know what just give me the bottle."

Emma dragged herself to the booth in the corner and slumped into the tattered chairs. She took a large swig from the bottle and then clutched it in her hands.

The trickle of hot tears ran down her cheeks and she sobbed as she tried to contemplate how Regina could have done that to her.


End file.
